MLiS – Chapter 9.3

This Is Who I Am

A beeping sound suddenly interrupted Luo Lan.

Qian Xu seemed to wake up from a dream. He promptly took a big step back and widened the distance between them.

Luo Lan looked down at her personal terminal in a panic and found that there was an incoming call from Chen Sha.

She was taken aback. She took a deep breath before she accepted the call, “What is it?”

“Feng Lin asked me to escort you home.”

“No need, there are bodyguards.”

“I’m already downstairs at the dormitory.”

Luo Lan was bewildered. What happened? Chen Sha came over of a sudden and was downstairs at Qian Xu’s dormitory!

She didn’t have the guts to let Chen Sha wait so she hurriedly said, “I’ll come down right away.”

Luo Lan hung up and looked at Qian Xu, “No matter what your decision is, I will accept it!”

Life is indeed valuable, but in this fickle life, there are always some things or someone that are worth fighting for with their lives. For her, Qian Xu was that someone. Because of that, just like him at that time, she put the ‘gun’ that could kill herself in his palm and hung her life and death for Qian Xu to decide.

Fate is mysterious and unpredictable. Since she was unwilling to reconcile with the choice fate gave her. She could only struggle to break away from the choice fate gave her. Whether she loses or wins, she would accept the result! 

Qian Xu didn’t respond at all, no emotion showed on his face.

Luo Lan felt her mood dropping. She hurried out with her head down. When she passed him, Qian Xu caught her arm abruptly. Luo Lan stiffened and turned her head to look at him.

“The story you told me a moment ago. It is just a story!”

“What?”

“Don’t ever tell this story to anyone again. I’ll forget it all. You haven’t said anything; I haven’t heard anything!”

The room was in a poor light, accompanied with the dim light of night, Qian Xu’s face was hidden. Nothing could be seen from his face. His voice was cold and stern. It was as vivid as a knife scraping a bone. It stabbed into Luo Lan’s ear sharply, but her heart calmed down.

Even knowing that she was a death-row prisoner who escaped from prison; Even knowing that she deceived the whole Odin Federation, Qian Xu still chose to keep it a secret!

Luo Lan smiled. “Rest assured! I’m not that stupid. How can I casually tell others this kind of thing? But…” She bit her lip and slowly enunciated word by word, “I have said; You have heard! You are not allowed to forget it!”

Qian Xu’s body stiffened. As if his hand was burnt and scalded by her arm, he let go of Luo Lan in a flash.

Luo Lan still had a lot to say, but thinking of Chen Sha downstairs, she didn’t dare to delay for another moment, “I’ll go first, I‘ll come back for you later.”

————·————·————

Luo Lan rushed out from the dormitory in a haste and caught sight of a car parked on the roadside.

She ran toward it, bowed her body, and got into the car. She smiled and said, “Sorry for making you wait.”

Chen Sha sized her up, “Qian Xu and you haven’t reconciled?”

“I haven’t fully convinced him yet, but it’s a good start.”

“How did you convince him?”

Luo Lan thought that Chen Sha’s question was a little strange. After all, he wasn’t like that ostentatious butterfly Zi Yan and seldom cared about other people’s affairs. However, since her boss asked, she naturally needed to answer.

“I will try to improve my physical ability to level A so I can protect myself just fine if something were to happen. Qian Xu will have no reason to cut off his contact with me.” Luo Lan didn’t tell the truth, but it’s not a lie either, because she really planned to do so, it just… Chen Sha arrived before she could tell Qian Xu that.

“Sure enough… It can only be like that!” Chen Sha looked like he just lost his hope. He looked out of the window and his thought was unfathomable.

Luo Lan was aware of his bad mood and asked cautiously, “That’s… I heard that there are ways to quickly improve physical ability in the army, is it true?”

“There is indeed a special training.”

“Suppose that I want to participate in it, how do I apply?”

Chen Sha said, “In every star country, the special training to level A physical ability is confidential. Because of my legal relationship with you, it’s not suitable for me to make a decision. I can ask the consul if you really want it.”

“No need, I’ll ask him myself.” In the end, she and Chen Sha were merely a fake couple. It’s better not to owe each other.

————·————·————

When they arrived at Sparda Palace, Luo Lan changed her clothes, put on some light makeup, and dressed up neatly. Then, she went to visit the consul.

It was An Da who came to open the door. Luo Lan was crestfallen.

For she has always tried her best to avoid this secretary with pointed ears, solemn expression, and tough methods. It couldn’t be helped. In the beginning, when she first arrived in Odin, she was disciplined by him and until now she still had lingering fear for him.

Luo Lan bit the bullet and politely explained her intention: “I have something to speak with the consul.”

An Da was ready to turn her down impolitely. His pointed ears shook and his countenance changed slightly. He opened the door and stepped aside. “Consul is in the reading room. Please come in!”

The hall was spacious. It was eerily silent.

Luo Lan could clearly hear her footsteps every time her shoes met with the floor. The chandelier on the sky-high roof made everything shadowy. She didn’t know whether it was because the air conditioner was set too low or a psychological effect, but she felt as if she was being stared at by something and she felt an inexplicable cold in her heart.

Luo Lan accelerated her steps. Fortunately, the light became brighter, dispelling some of the coldness.

Luo Lan arrived in front of the heavy antique carved wooden door. Her heart beating faster when she thought of facing the desolate masked man behind the door who held no temperature at all.

She collected herself for a moment before knocking on the door with a smile.

The two heavy doors opened slowly.

Under the warm orange light, the consul was wearing a black hooded robe, swiftly writing at his desk. Those documents probably should be about things that needed his approval.

Luo Lan was facing his back, watching him do his paperwork. She thought to herself that this must be his regular looks when he was at work.

“I’ve kept you waiting for a long time.”

The moment he put down his pen and turned around, Luo Lan almost thought she would see a normal face, but what greeted her was a cold silver mask.

Luo Lan bowed and dropped a courtesy, “Consul.”

He stood up and made an inviting gesture. He was wearing black gloves on his hand, without an inch of skin showing.

Luo Lan followed him and sat down on the chair by the window.

The consul poured her a cup of tea. “It’s Aerdes specialty. It’s said that this is a precious variety genetically passed down from the ancient earth era.”

Luo Lan found that only she had a teacup in front of her, there was nothing in front of the consul. She subconsciously glanced at his mask. There were only two holes in the eye area, so it was naturally impossible to drink tea.

The consul was evidently aware of her little move. “Sorry about that, but I can’t accompany you to drink tea”

“It’s… it’s alright” Luo Lan thought was exposed and she felt flustered.

She nervously picked up the teacup and delivered it to her mouth. Without warning, the consul reached out and grabbed her wrist. He touched her wrist gently and quickly took his hand back, but it was enough to make Luo Lan petrified.

“It’s very hot,” The consul said calmly.

Only then did Luo Lan feel that the cup in her hand was boiling hot, so she hurriedly put the teacup down and quietly shook his hand under the table.

The Consul took an ice cube and handed it to her. Luo Lan subconsciously received it. Finally, her hot fingers cooled down in a pleasant way.

The consul asked, “Why do you want to see me?”

“I want to apply to partake in the level A physical ability training.”

“Your work has no special requirements for physical ability. I can’t see the reason why you need to improve your physical ability quickly. Of course, if you give me a sufficient reason, I will consider it.”

“I…”

“You have only one chance.”

Luo Lan swallowed the lies that were ready to run from her mouth. After thinking about it, she decided to tell the truth, “For one person.”

The consul looked at her quietly.

Luo Lan said nervously, “I once promised him that when he mutated and lost his mind, I would tie him up and wait for him to regain his mind. However, I was too weak to even hold on for 15 minutes. I didn’t want him to kill me nor did I want to kill him, so I wanted to be strong enough.”

“Dare you think so when the other person is at level 3A?”

Luo Lan was at loss, but she managed to react quickly. The consul thought she was talking about Chen Sha. Luo Lan felt a little uneasy, but then examined her own conscience and asked herself. In case it was Qian Xu that was at level 3A, would she choose to back out?

“Due to my genetic limitation, I’m afraid I will never be as strong as him, but I’ll try my best to shorten our distance. The remaining little gap…”

She thought about the problem between her and Qian Xu and realized the gap wasn’t a little gap at all. Luo Lan was distressed. If she chooses to live as the princess, she must also accept the binding of that identity.

The consul put the tea that was no longer hot in front of her. Luo Lan lowered her head, picked it up, and concealed her turmoil by drinking the tea.

The consul’s mask was as cold as ever. With an overbearing aura, he asked, “What about the remaining little gap?”

“I will work very, very hard… If there is still a little gap left, I hope he will also try to find a way to shorten it.” She put down her teacup. She gave the consul a smile, pretending to be relaxed, and said, “A relationship needs both parties’ participation to work. As long as they work hard together, they can always overcome anything.”

The consul didn’t rebuke her.

Luo Lan tried her best to stay still even when she was filled with anxiety, for fear of disturbing the consul while he was making a decision. She really wanted to ask him if he had come to a decision but she didn’t have the courage to.

After a while, the consul said, “It’s regrettable, but I can’t agree to your request. You’d better go back.”

Luo Lan stood up silently, made a standard courtesy to the consul, and left.

The aftermath was disappointing and left her disheartened. Yet, it was within her expectation. No one in the world has the obligation to satisfy all her wishes.

————·————·————

Luo Lan returned to the Duke’s mansion dispirited. She saw Chen Sha sitting on the sofa, looking at the virtual screen of his personal terminal, frowning and contemplating, as if he had just finished talking to someone.

She didn’t bother to get concerned over him so she just gave a nod to Chen Sha and strolled in.

Chen Sha said lightly, “Consul asked me to give you special training.”

“Ah?”

“Consul told me, ‘The quota is limited, don’t let the princess take up the quota of the army. You can give her special training, instead‘.”

As a matter of fact, the consul actually supplied him with another sentence, “In case you have some feelings for her, try to earnestly cultivate your relationship with her with this opportunity. Turn your fake relationship into a real one.“

The consul actually left her a window after closing the door. Luo Lan was very surprised, “Do you mean the consul allowed you to give me special training? ”

“That’s right.”

Luo Lan restrained her excitement and refused, “No need, I’d better take my time and not rush!”

“Didn’t you say you really want to have a level A physical ability? Why do you reject my offer to train you?”

“Because I…” Luo Lan bit her lip, her gaze was focused on the ground.

Chen Sha didn’t rush her and waited quietly.

After a while, Luo Lan looked up at him and asked, “Do you love me?”

Chen Sha was taken aback for a moment, and said decisively, “I don’t love you! ”

“I don’t love you either.”

“I know!”

“Ten years ago, you said we were only a fake couple…”

Chen Sha said coldly, “I have no amnesia. Get to the point!”

“Can we get a divorce?”

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Footnotes

No footnotes in this chapter!

Amoeba’s Corner
Beware of long Amoeba’s Corner today. Click here to immediately go to the difference between the published book and the online novel version.

“You want to pretend this never happened? In your dream.” -Luo Lan to Qian Xu, probably.

She didn’t have the guts to let Chen Sha wait, poor Luo Lan was traumatized by Chen Sha.

“Sure enough… it can only be like this!” Chen Sha looked like he just lost his hope.

笑笑笑笑! Chen Sha looks like that because if that is Luo Lan’s way to convince Qian Xu, then it is impossible for him to stand a chance! His physical ability is 3A, after all. Cinnamon roll Chen Sha also wants a chance to be with Luo Lan.

That sentence could also be translated as “Chen Sha seemed a little disappointed,” but I choose to use a more direct one!

Ah, yes, the consul as Chen Sha wingman. Ah, yes. I’m staring at you, Consul. Such a shame Luo Lan is a simp for Qian Xu, isn’t it? Such a shame. The consul just told Chen Sha to cultivate feelings with Luo Lan, yet Luo Lan decisively asked for a divorce. OOF. That must hurt. Feng Lin, the consul, and Zi Yan. You have 3 wingmen yet still lose to Qian Xu, poor Chen Sha.

When Yin Nanzhao said, “I’ve kept you waiting for a long time,” I stared at it for quite a long time, haha. I have finished the novel more than once, every time I read that line, it felt like it was a greeting from him. After a long wait, I can finally see him once more when I picked up the book. Hello, Yin Nanzhao, we met again. So, here, his own fan song, titled “Spring Festival”! Beware of spoilers, though. I have warned you, don’t fork me.

Click here for the lyric and translation
Click here to listen to it in NetEase Music
Click here if the above link doesn’t work and listen to it in Google Drive.

Anyway, here comes the difference! It is quite a big difference, not a one or two paragraph like usual. 

On this part
(1)
Chen Sha sized her up, “Qian Xu and you haven’t reconciled?”

“I haven’t fully convinced him yet, but it’s a good start.”

“How did you convince him?”

….(none of these parts are in the online novel version)

Luo Lan was aware of his bad mood and asked cautiously, “That’s… I heard that there are ways to quickly improve physical ability in the army, is it true?”

(2)
“Consul told me, ‘the quota is limited, don’t let the princess take up the quota of the army. You can give her special training‘.”

As a matter of fact, the consul actually supplied him with another sentence, “In case you have some feelings for her, try to earnestly cultivate your relationship with her. Turn your fake relationship into a real one.“

(3)
Chapter end in “Can we get a divorce?”

In the online novel version
(1)
Chen Sha sized her up, “Qian Xu and you haven’t reconciled?”

“I haven’t fully convinced him yet, but it’s a good start.” Luo Lan was curious and couldn’t help but ask,, “If you were Qian Xu, would you forgive my deception?”

Chen Sha said coldly, “I’m not him.”

“I said ‘if’!”

“There is no ‘if’!”

Luo Lan was discouraged and felt that she simply could not communicate with him at all. Instead, she decided to lean her head on the window and enjoy the scenery outside.

Chen Sha’s voice suddenly broke the silence, “I hate deception. I will never forgive someone that deceived me.”

Luo Lan’s heart dropped and she felt like she was drenched in cold water.

She slowly turned her head: “Sometimes, deception happens not because someone deliberately wants to do it, but because they don’t have any choice.”

“In the final analysis, the helplessness of liars is their own selfishness. They deceived others for their own selfish sake.”

Luo Lan was unable to refute because, in a way, Chen Sha was right. No matter how many lies were caused by helplessness or by force, ultimately, they were due to a person’s own selfish desires.

In fact, she shouldn’t have even asked this question at all. Chen Sha was such a straightforward person. Such people would not deceive others because they themselves disdained deception. Should a person deceive them, that person won’t be spared,

Chen Sha looked at Luo Lan’s expression and said stubbornly, “I’m just answering your question, it isn’t aimed at you. I’m not the one you deceived.”

Luo Lan forced out a smile and said with self-deprecation, “I understand. As long as I don’t lie to you, you won’t care what I do.”

Chen Sha kept his silence.

Luo Lan cheered up and asked, “I heard that there are ways to quickly improve physical ability in the army, is it true?”

(2)
“Consul told me, ‘the quota is limited, don’t let the princess take up the quota of the army. You can give her special training‘.” [No extra sentence]

(3)
Chapter end in Chen Sha said coldly, “I have no amnesia. Get to the point!”

Such a big difference. The scene and the emotions. I was surprised. I thought there’ll be only small differences like in the previous chapters, turns out there are some big differences. I checked Tong Hua’s blog and found out the online novel version I found was the pre-publication version, meaning there are some revisions here and there in the published book. This part is one of them. I really don’t know which source was used by the online novel version because even then there are still differences between the online novel version in those sites and Tong Hua’s blog. But, eh, I will still include the differences in Amoeba’s Corner. I’m just… very confused, haha. Those differences really gave me a different feeling when reading the chapter.

While it gave us hints of how badly Chen Sha would react when he realized Luo Lan’s deception, it seems out of place. Why was Luo Lan suddenly curious about Chen Sha’s reaction? If she was given the chance, she wouldn’t even initiate a conversation with Chen Sha. Their relationship is still in a stage where everything focuses on Chen Sha. If Chen Sha won’t give, Luo Lan won’t take. Luo Lan also won’t give Chen Sha anything, not because she hates him, but because she can’t be bothered to care much about him. Only Chen Sha has the right to initiate something in their relationship. 

Qian Xu isn’t Chen Sha. Chen Sha isn’t Qian Xu. Luo Lan knows this. Why bother to ask Chen Sha when she already knows how Qian Xu reacted to her deception?

Published book FTW! Don’t get me wrong, I actually like knowing how Chen Sha would react, but that seemed out of place. That’s why it was revised, duh.

There are no more differences up to Chapter 11. Who knows about Chapter 12 and above.

See you next update!

This chapter words count (excluding title, footnotes, and TL’s corner): 2257