For You, I’ll Live On
She seemed to remember something and hastily got up. She marched to the drawer, searching for the 3D photo frame that had run out of energy. The photo frame did not consume much energy. With only an energy block, the photo frame could be used for decades. This means, no one had seen the photos in the frame for at least decades.
When Luo Lan wanted to replace its energy block, she noticed the insignia of First District engraved on the back of the photo frame: An unsheathed black sword with red roses entwined it.
Two lines of small characters were engraved at the bottom.
Without the protection of a sharp blade, the beauty of the world cannot bloom to its fullest;
Without the restraint of tenderness, the strength becomes a sheathless sword that hurts others and oneself.
一Chen Yuan & An Rong.
Luo Lan recited it silently.
She pressed the button on the hilt of the sword. The photo frame that had been dusty for many years slowly opened.
Lifelike photos came to her vision.
They were all photos of daily life. A woman with a gentle temperament; A man with a cold temperament. There were photos of them, both alone and together.
She grew roses in the garden. She was conversing with someone on the phone in the bedroom. She watched the news in the study…
He was exercising in the training room. He was piloting a spaceship. He was exploring a primordial star…
On the meadow, they walked hand-in-hand; In the conference room, they ate nutritious meals head-to-head; On the warship, she leaned tiredly on his shoulder.
Suddenly, photos of a baby appeared. The small hands of the baby were both held by each one of their hands. Their expression was joyous.
Day by day, the little baby grew up. From a toddler to where he could run and jump around. He could be found in almost every photo. The Father carried him on his shoulders when he exercised; The Mother hugged him in her arms when she was reading the documents…
Looking at photos one by one was like watching the little boy grow up, unobstructed by the passage of time, as if she definitely could watch the little boy grow into a teenager and then a young man with his parents by his side.
However, it all came to an abrupt end.
The child in the photo never grew up again, he stayed at the age of six forever.
The last photo was Chen Sha running from his mother’s side to his father who had just gotten off the spaceship. His father squatted down and reached out to hug his son. His eyes were at his wife. The family of three had smiles on their faces and was surrounded by an affectionate atmosphere.
Unexpectedly, Chen Sha could smile!
Luo Lan was staring at the picture in a daze when a knock sounded from the door.
“Luo Lan.”
It’s Chen Sha! Luo Lan hurriedly stuffed the photo frame into the drawer and said calmly, “Come in.”
Chen Sha opened the door and walked in front of Luo Lan. His voice was cold. “Tomorrow, you must undergo the rehabilitation exercises!”
“You don’t need to worry about my business!” She has the guilty conscience of a thief, so her expression mellowed. It was no longer the indifference that could reject people from thousands of miles away. On the contrary, her expression became soft, like a helpless plea.
She now knew she and Chen Sha had suffered in the same way.
Chen Sha was taken aback by her expression. His tone softened, “You are legally my wife. I must be responsible for you.”
“But, you promised to divorce me. As long as I reached level A, you promised would divorce me.”
Chen Sha skillfully deflected[1] her words, “Make sure you can use your arm well first. When you truly show you have a level A physical ability, we’ll discuss the divorce.”
Luo Lan wanted to say something else, but her personal terminal interrupted her.
The incoming video call was from Feng Lin. Luo Lan hesitated for a moment before accepting it.
Feng Lin was wearing her uniform, working in the office. She waved her hand to Chen Sha casually and disdainfully turned to look at Luo Lan, “Your vacation has already ended. Why haven’t you come back to work?”
“I…”
“’I’ what? Isn’t it just a broken arm! Chu Mo told me the surgery was successful, so get back here quickly! There are patients waiting for you!”
“Patient?” Luo Lan was confused, she was completely oblivious about this matter.
Feng Lin didn’t beat around the bush. She directly gave her zhi nao instruction. A video started playing and she explained the patient’s situation.
The patient’s name is Zeni. He is eighteen. He fell ill at the age of seven and has been suffering from illness for eleven years.
His gene disorder was caused by the off-target effect. There was no way to prevent it from happening and because of his gene disorder, a minor illness may take his life.
As soon as Luo Lan saw the photo of the child, she couldn’t move her gaze anywhere else. She recognized this child. This child was one of the children from the Alikarta Orphanage.
In the orphanage, the sick children must stay indoors most of the time. When Qian Xu was free, he often visited them, told them stories, and accompanied them to play games.
Luo Lan didn’t dare to appear in front of the children for fear of revealing her identity, but every time she talked with Qian Xu, she often asked about the children’s condition.
Feng Lin informed, “Originally, there was no way to treat Zeni’s disease. But, before you leave for Big Gemini, you submitted a paper about gene repair. With your theory, it is feasible for us to repair his disordered genes.”
Luo Lan nervously uttered, “That一 That’s just a theory!”
“I know your style of work very well. If you are not sure, you will never write it out. Let me tell you another piece of good news. Thirteen professors of the Genetics Committee have all read your paper, and seven professors think it is feasible.”
“But…”
“But what? Get back here quickly. The patient can’t wait any longer!”
Luo Lan stared at the person behind Feng Lin. Zeni was lying in the ward, wearing a breathing mask. Even the air he breathed had to be specially prepared.
Feng Lin was earnest, “It’s not that I can’t do this surgery alone, but you are the one that proposed this theory and know everything best. If by any chance I handle this incorrectly, not only will I kill a patient, but this theory will be shot down immediately before proper research can be done. At that time, the patients who could be saved with this theory will die because the theory was abandoned and they couldn’t be treated with it! You must be here for this surgery!”
Luo Lan asked, “How long can the patient wait?”
“One month at most!”
Luo Lan stared at the photo of Zeni’s and made up her mind, “See you in a month.”
Feng Lin laughed, “I’ll wait for you!”
Luo Lan cut off the video call. She stared at Chen Sha. Opening her mouth just to close it again. She stammered. Not long ago, she told him to not meddle with her own business, but now she was going to ask him to help her with her own business…
In only one month, if she wanted to properly use her recovered arm to be able to perform gene repair surgery, she couldn’t ask for help just from anyone. At times like this, she could only turn to Chen Sha for help.
Chen Sha didn’t embarrass her, and said casually, “I will accompany you to train tomorrow.”
Luo Lan’s face was burning with shame, she asked embarrassedly, “It’s not that late yet, do you have time to spare now?”
Chen Sha was silent for a moment, “Have.”
Luo Lan picked up a bottle of nutrients and handed it to Chen Sha courteously, “Let’s go to the training ground now. ”
Her time was limited, the sooner she started her exercise, the better.
Chen Sha was puzzled. He couldn’t help but ask her, “For yourself, you don’t even try to be better. But, for a child, you suddenly have a change of heart and want to be better. Why?”
“It’s not an irrelevant child. It’s a child Qian Xu had taken care of. He definitely hoped Zeni could recover. And…” Luo Lan bit her lips, staring straight at Chen Sha, “I don’t regard myself as omnipotent, but every promise I made, I don’t make it carelessly! I’m unwilling to accept the worst result, I want to strive for the best result! I promised Qian Xu I would cure his disease, but just like you, he refused to believe in me! Now, he had missed his appointment, I… I will definitely make him regret it!””
Luo Lan hurried out, striding towards the door before her tears could fall.
————·————·————
A month later, Luo Lan returned to Alikarta by spaceship.
As soon as she got off the ship, she dialed Feng Lin’s number.
Feng Lin asked, “Got off the ship?”
“Mn, how is the patient’s condition?”
“Everything is stable. The surgery will be at 9 o’clock tomorrow morning.”
Luo Lan asked nervously, “You must have already read all the patient information you sent me. What else do you think I need to prepare? ”
Feng Lin laughed. “This is not your first time entering the operating room. What are you nervous about? You’ve been preparing for this day for ten years. Now, a good rest is the best preparation you can do!”
Luo Lan remembered that she was not the sole person doing this operation, Feng Lin would be present throughout the process. She relaxed a little bit, “See you tomorrow. ”
“See you tomorrow.”
The car stopped in front of Chen Sha’s official residence. Qing Chu and Qing Yue were at the door, waiting for them. When Chen Sha and Luo Lan appeared in their vision, they bent over and bowed 90°/ They greeted in unison, “Welcoming the Duke and the Madam home.”
Chen Sha didn’t react at all to Qing Chu and Qing Yue’s abnormal enthusiasm. He strolled past them without expression and went straight back to his room.
Luo Lan glared at Qing Yue, “What trick are you up to now?”
Qing Yue diligently opened the bedroom door for Luo Lan, “Madam, please come in.”
Luo Lan saw sexy-lace lingerie on the bed and some strange candles at the head of the bed. She exasperatedly asked, “What are you planning to do with this?”
Qing Yue picked up a candle like she was presenting a treasure for her, “This candle contains a scent that can stimulate desires. The Princess and the Duke will be able to enjoy the most wonderful night!”
Luo Lan shoved the lingerie and the candles into Qing Yue’s arms, “Enjoy it with your lover!”
Qing Yue was bewildered. “I thought the Princess and the Duke had been together day and night for more than eight months. Both of your feelings must have improved greatly and have been a real husband and wife. Your Royal Highness won’t be a fake couple with the Duke for a lifetime, right?”
Luo Lan’s face turned very ugly. Her eyes were pained.
Qing Yue was frightened and asked cautiously, “Princess, what happened?”
Luo Lan shook her head, indicating she was okay. She pointed at the door and motioned for her to go out.
Qing Yue shut her mouth. She left immediately, taking the lingerie and candles with her.
Luo Lan lay weakly on the bed. She checked her personal terminal, gazing at the only name in her friend list on the address book: Qian Xu.
She had witnessed Qian Xu’s death with her own eyes, but, perhaps because Qian Xu was in the form of a beast at that time, she couldn’t believe Qian Xu had really left her. Every day was like before, they couldn’t meet with each other just because they were too busy with their work.
Tomorrow, she will have gene repair surgery for Zeni. If everything went well, Zeni would recover and she could get a license as a gene repairer.
Usually, if such important things were to happen to her, she would tell Qian Xu about it.
As if bewitched, Luo Lan dialed Qian Xu’s number.
The beeping sound came. Luo Lan listened quietly to it until the beep stopped abruptly.
The call was disconnected, no one answered.
Luo Lan sent a message, “I’m back to Alikarta. Tomorrow, I will participate in major surgery. I’m a little nervous. I really hope everything goes well. How have you been recently? Do you miss me?”
Of course, it was impossible to receive a reply. Still, Luo Lan stared at the screen and waited. She herself did not know what she was waiting for.
Suddenly, a “beep” came from her personal terminal and Luo Lan’s heart trembled.
On a closer look, she noticed it was a call from Zi Yan.
Luo Lan mercilessly pressed reject.
After a while, a text message was sent by Zi Yan.
“Luo Lan, in accordance with the regulations of the base, Qian Xu’s rented dormitory will be taken back by the dormitory staff. All his personal belongings will be destroyed. You must have wanted to have a look at it one last time, right? Contact me when you have time.”
Luo Lan immediately dialed Zi Yan’s number, “I have time now.”
Zi Yan simply answered, “I’ll wait for you at Qian Xu’s door.”
Luo Lan rushed out of the door. She was about to get in the car when Chen Sha suddenly appeared behind her and asked with a chilling voice, “Where are you going?”
“Go to Qian Xu’s dormitory. I have an appointment with Zi Yan.”
“I’ll take you there.” Chen Sha opened the car’s door and sat down in the driver’s seat.
Luo Lan couldn’t refuse. She got into the car soundlessly.
Chen Sha didn’t use automatic driving, he drove her there manually. It only took ten minutes to arrive at Qian Xu’s dormitory. He stayed in the car. “I’ll wait for you in the car.”
Luo Lan walked to the door of Qian Xu’s dormitory. There, she saw Zi Yan wearing a simple and plain white shirt and black trousers. He was leaning on the railing in a daze, watching the evening glow filling the whole sky.
The scenery in front of her was unparalleled, splendid and beautiful, but there was loneliness in his person.
Zi Yan heard her footsteps and gave an instruction to the zhi nao. The door of the dormitory slowly opened.
“Qian Xu had created a will when he served on the front line. It said his deposit and pension would be donated to the Alikarta Orphanage. He was an orphan, his private property and possessions couldn’t be transferred to anyone. According to regulations, it can only be destroyed. But, if you want to keep some as keepsakes, you can. I will handle it for you.”
Luo Lan stood in the center of the living room. Her gaze darted from the living room, to the dining room, and lastly to the kitchen. All of those looked exactly the same as the model room.
Was it because he always knew that this day would come? He didn’t want to trouble anyone, so he didn’t let himself have anything?
Luo Lan was overcome by sorrow. She loathed herself. Why didn’t she see her heart clearly sooner? Why didn’t she confess sooner? If Qian Xu knew that he was not alone and there was someone willing to stand by his side sooner… Would he be a little selfish and treat himself better? Would he let himself have things solely because he could?
Zi Yan never expected Qian Xu’s dormitory to be like this, so clean and tidy with no traces of the owner’s preferences. To the point it was unnecessary to move out the exteriors and things inside the room. He whispered softly, “I’ll wait for you here.”
Luo Lan went to the bedroom.
The beddings were neatly arranged; The towels were neatly hung; The surroundings were spotless. Just like a clean hotel room that could be checked in by strangers at any time.
She opened his wardrobe. It was empty, with only two sets of casual clothes for daily use and two sets of military uniforms for work. Luo Lan drew the clothes closer and pasted them on her face. Inhaling the scents. Except, the clothes were already washed clean. Traces of Qian Xu’s smell were no longer there. She couldn’t smell them at all.
Prior to today, Luo Lan didn’t understand why his house was so desolate. Today, Luo Lan clearly got the answer.
In the looming shadow of death, he was like a soldier fighting alone. Trying his best to maintain his final dignity; to not cause trouble to strangers who would come to clean up his belongings.
Luo Lan entered the fitness room.
The surroundings were also spotless like the bedroom. All the equipment was neatly organized. The only indication this room was ever used by someone was a black box lying quietly on the ground.
Luo Lan sat on her knees on the ground, she picked up the black box and pressed the play button. The ancient melodious song sounded in the empty fitness room.
When the wind blows from afar,
You won’t know I’m thinking[2] of you again
Wanting to forget our unforgettable memories,
Memories of those times that we spent together.
Your smile is engraved in my eyes
Your warmth is engraved in my heart
Thoughtfully, in my heart, in my soul
Engraved for a lifetime
Never knew of this kind of helplessness in life before
Yet, all vows are still blown away in the wind
Why have this one in a lifetime encounter
If a lifetime is needed to forget?
Where does the wind come from?
Blow and keep blowing
Blow off the flowers
Blow away the waiting
The sea has turned into moss
……
……
Was Qian Xu listening to this song before leaving?
The stars kept shifting. The times kept changing[3]. Nothing in the world could last forever. But, the feeling of longing would linger deep in the bones, engraved for a lifetime even until the last breath.
Luo Lan caressed the blue Myth Flower on the black box and one by one, tears dropped on the flower petals.
Footnotes
四两拨千斤 – sì liǎng bō qiānjīn. Four Liang can move a thousand Jin. One of the meaning is to achieve much with little effort.↵
想你 – xiǎng nǐ. Xiǎng nǐ can means as either “thinking of you” or “missing you.” It can also mean both.↵
沧海桑田 – cāng hǎi sāng tián; Seas change into mulberry fields and mulberry fields into seas (time brings great changes to the world). The deep blue sea and mulberry fields (many changes in human affairs)↵
Amoeba’s Corner
Chen Sha was taken aback. His tone eased, “You are legally my wife. I must be responsible for you.”
*COUGH*Said a person who left his wife because she was one minute late.*COUGH*
————·————·————
1 more chapter and we are back to 2 Chapters (at minimum, finger-crossed) per week. On Thursday and Sunday!
Sneak-a-Peek
She searched high and low. Rummaging the cabinets. Checking every corner of the room. She searched even the clothes’ pockets. But, she found nothing.
Obligatory Closing
If you like what I do, please consider checking my ko-fi! (づ￣ ³￣)づ
No advanced chapters yet because I am rushing Volume 1 lol
This chapter words count (excluding title, footnotes, and TL’s corner): 3121
Support Me on Ko-Fi!
The child in the photo never grew up again, he stayed at the age of six forever.
If only he could grow up with his parents by his side…
He will be a Cinnabun and not Cinnabar.
Cinnabar bun, Cinnabun bar.
Buncinnabar Barcinnabun
“Luo Lan was overcome by sorrow. She loathed herself. Why didn’t she see her heart clearly sooner? Why didn’t she confess sooner? If Qian Xu knew that he was not alone and there was someone willing to stand by his side sooner… Would he be a little selfish and treat himself better? Would he let himself have things solely because he could?”
Ugh. Qian Xu… 😭